Just a thought...

I know that we've been saying forever that we're going to post pictures, however, I cannot seem to find the camera at the moment, nor the usb to put them on the computer, so you'll all have to wait a little bit longer!

I did want to post some reflections I've had recently, which I'm hoping anyone reading this will on some level relate with. The other day I was reading an article in-my latest favorite reading material-Parent's magazine. (Don't laugh-it's nice to have an occasional break from the parent's magazine I seem to live in, entitled Ave Maria.) Flipping past all the "Go Green" suggestions, which as usual I scoff at, I find myself at two quite interesting articles. The first is an interview with Barack and Michelle Obama, the second, an interview with Cindy McCain. Ahhh, here's the good stuff.

Now, I must admit that I am guilty of going into these articles with, shall we say, preconceived understandings, of each parenting style. It's true-just seeing each family's smiling pictures above the articles, I begin thinking of how obviously wrong the Obamas will be and how superior the McCain's parenting style will strike me. However, I move forward, struggling to remind myself to at least be fair when judging each family.

I begin the article entitled, "A Conversation with the Obamas". Let me say: tough questions. "Do you have a lot of rules for them?" I brace myself for the ridiculous answer I am sure is to come. "Not a whole lot, but we believe that kids thrive with a level of structure and stability, so we do have a few." Whew. Okay-not so bad! They have rules and structure, fabulous!! To my dismay, or rather, as originally suspected, the proof of intelligent parenting stops here. Michelle and Barack go on to give descriptions of how they deal with their children not accepting those few rules they put forth.

It involves no such phrase as, "Because I said so," or "I'm the mother/father, and I know better, so do it." Instead of such authoritative one liners, there are long-winded, psycho-babble explanations. "Okay, but your bedtime is still the same, so if you watch more tv, don't pout because you don't have time to read when you get into bed." And the result of watching too much tv at night? "...we'll say, 'Notice how you feel more tired today? Do you know why you feel that way?'"

Are you kidding me? Now, please understand, as the mother of a 5 month old, I do not pretend to possess more parenting experience than Mrs. Obama. However, after having read this article in its entirety, I do feel that I, somehow, have managed to obtain, or rather, retain a great deal more common sense. There seems to be, in the Obama household, a measure of freedom that I do not believe is necessary or right for children, especially children under the age of...well, 18! "Oh, you want to stay up late watching TV on a school night? No. Go to bed. NOW." There-problem solved. I understand the wisdom in letting children make mistakes to learn, however, I do not, AT ALL, understand the idea of having a conversational parenting style. Yes, there are times when you can and must explain things to children. But there is a time and a place. And that place and time is not constant. It doesn't seem that those boundaries exist for this family.

After having my suspicions proved correct in the Obama article, I felt even more sure as I moved on to the McCain article: "18 Questions for Cindy McCain." Sadly, John McCain had been unable to be present for this article, so the answers were all Cindy's.

But her answers were quite satisfying, especially after having read what must be a Democratic approach to parenting. Best question? "What was your approach to discipline?" And the answer? "I was tough-no meant no." Music to my new mother ears. And the flip side to Michelle's conversational approach to her children's mistakes: "They were allowed one mistake, says McCain, But if they made it a second time, there were consequences." Wonderful! I wasn't completely out of my mind in thinking that the Obama's were pushover parents. I read on to find that not only were the McCain children actually punished for misbehavior, but they even had chores! CHORES! Can you believe it?? The McCain's taught their children responsibility! What an amazing concept!!

Again, I hastily point out that I am the mother of a 5 month old. I know that I have not yet encountered any of the major issues I will have to deal with. But...at least I know I have enough common sense to deal when those problems do arise :)